It's Not as Bad as It Sounds I Swear
As of 5:30pm today, I am no longer a Columbia College Chicago student.
Technically, I dropped out. This is a very bad sentence I never want to write ever again, and it is a sentence I never planned on writing. But I write a lot, so I was bound to write it at some point.
Chicago is a cesspool of opportunities and inspiration, and I'd like to think I took advantage of that while I was there. But there's a lot there I wasn't expecting and wasn't ready to handle.
When I moved to Illinois, I thought I'd be impervious to everything that happened back home. Like life would stop down south while I was away. It didn't. I had an uncle die during midterms and I didn't get to go back home for the funeral. It made me realize that I didn't have any grasp on the things I loved back home. They slipped out of my hands and I was too far away to do anything. I watched them fly away, left with nothing but memories and photographs. There was nothing tangible left.
I also realize that everyone told me how cold Chicago was gonna be. Thank you, you were very correct. And it hasn't even dropped below 30 degrees yet. I can wrap myself in as many scarves as I want, but deep down, I'm still a coldblooded southerner with Latin American roots. I wasn't made for the cold.
The weather wasn't the only coldness there. I had peers who were very verbal about their distaste for me, as well as professors. When everything you work hard on is shot down, insulted and belittled, it starts to hurt. It carves scars out of your ambition. It whittles you down.
It's painful to leave something you've worked so, so hard on. But I think it's time to move on.
I don't know what I have left. I had a lot ripped away from me. Next Sunday, I'll go gather up what I have left that's tangible and fly it down south with me.
Then, I wait. I'll find a job, make some money along the way. For now, I wait for my application for SCAD to go through.
Y'all thought I was just not gonna go to college?
Fat chance.
And this time, I'm bringing the horse.
Technically, I dropped out. This is a very bad sentence I never want to write ever again, and it is a sentence I never planned on writing. But I write a lot, so I was bound to write it at some point.
Chicago is a cesspool of opportunities and inspiration, and I'd like to think I took advantage of that while I was there. But there's a lot there I wasn't expecting and wasn't ready to handle.
When I moved to Illinois, I thought I'd be impervious to everything that happened back home. Like life would stop down south while I was away. It didn't. I had an uncle die during midterms and I didn't get to go back home for the funeral. It made me realize that I didn't have any grasp on the things I loved back home. They slipped out of my hands and I was too far away to do anything. I watched them fly away, left with nothing but memories and photographs. There was nothing tangible left.
I also realize that everyone told me how cold Chicago was gonna be. Thank you, you were very correct. And it hasn't even dropped below 30 degrees yet. I can wrap myself in as many scarves as I want, but deep down, I'm still a coldblooded southerner with Latin American roots. I wasn't made for the cold.
The weather wasn't the only coldness there. I had peers who were very verbal about their distaste for me, as well as professors. When everything you work hard on is shot down, insulted and belittled, it starts to hurt. It carves scars out of your ambition. It whittles you down.
It's painful to leave something you've worked so, so hard on. But I think it's time to move on.
I don't know what I have left. I had a lot ripped away from me. Next Sunday, I'll go gather up what I have left that's tangible and fly it down south with me.
Then, I wait. I'll find a job, make some money along the way. For now, I wait for my application for SCAD to go through.
Y'all thought I was just not gonna go to college?
Fat chance.
And this time, I'm bringing the horse.
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